January funk

Time seems to be moving slow. So slow. Right now. Another second, minute, day, they just drag themselves forward. We are all still right in the pandemic and here in Zambia we are just in the slow down of the forth wave. That meant that the government pushed the school start forward, from the 10th of January to the 24th. And as parents putting their kids in a private school that are trying their best to not miss out on learning for the kids, we are doing online learning. It started on Monday and will continue until the 24th, or until the government makes it clear the kids can go back to physical learning. We have done this before, in Sweden, but then it was only for Alice. Sylvia and all primary was allowed to go to physical class. Now it is both primary and secondary that are online and also, we have four kids. So my time this week has gone to setting up computers, pads and phones in different Zoom-rooms, restarting the wifi-router because the heavy rains makes internet sketchy. Also, they get assignments that they need help with. So, we are lucky we are not both working. How do the parents that both work do this? And I know this is has been the case in big parts of the world for quite some time now, we have been lucky. We are so far in the pandemic and this is the first time I need to help my kids with online school? Yeah, its lucky. At the same time we are privileged to be able to put all our four kids (with some help from family and friends, thank you!) in a private school where they are already teaching and they have teachers that are really devoted to make this period as nice as possible for the students. All of this is good, nice, better than it could have been. But I am still in a funk.
I feel like I have no energy, will or spark to anything. This pandemic is on its third year. And the way it started for me still gives me anxiety to even listen to news about it. For a long time I did not watch news or did not talk about COVID at all. I still am very selective on when and how I consume information about it. And that is just the reality I have to live with. I think this wave, this online learning and also that we have so much rains, all combined, is making the funk worse. And being a person that has been through three episodes of “burn out” and the rehabilitation from it as many times, its still ongoing. It makes me worried when the funk comes and looks like it wants to stay. I get scared, anxious. Wondering if it is a new period of being tired, slow and exhausted. A new long period of not being able to do things, that are fun but craving or stealing energy, without getting so tired and needing weeks of rest afterwards. I am aware that this funk mostly entails grief and pandemic exhaustion, but it still scares me. Every time it makes me weary. So January funk, please move our in time for February, just telling you you are not invited. So like a vampire maybe you can just not come knocking if you are not invited? Putting it our there.
How do you deal with this pandemic times? I know in many places around the world restrictions are back, COVID cases are increasing, and hospitals getting full again. How are we doing? Read a post on from The Nap Ministry on Instagram the other day that said, anyone that have survived this far in the pandemic is exhausted on some level, and it really resonated with me. If we assume we are all tired, we can put our expectations lower and all slow down a bit. How do people even have energy? Or they are just pretending? Anyhow, go follow The Nap Ministry, rest more and take one day at a time. At least that is how I am trying to get through this funk.


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