And then we are already a week into February! Time do really fly by. Even if I did complain over January, I still do not want to miss living my life. Had a good reading start on the year, but sometimes when all I do is reading, I feel like I am missing out. I do know that for me reading and resting is necessary. Especially in certain periods of my life. I live with a chronic disease called psoriasis arthritis, it is episodical, and when I get an episode I get really tired and have a lot of pain in my body. Mostly in the joints and the ligaments around the joints. Also sometimes in the muscle tissues. Sometimes the pain goes first, after medicating and doing my things for getting better. But the tiredness stays, and when such periods ends, I do often leave it feeling like i missed out. Like I spent the time just at home, resting and reading and taking care of my self, and not being out and about. Which is exactly what I need. I do know, theoretically, that I do what is right for me staying home, but the feeling of missing out can still be there. I guess it is all human and humanity, to have emotions and feelings you cannot explain or understand. I am trying to use what I learn through my yoga practice and sit with the feelings, journal on them (this being a little part on that) and to respond and not react. It helps.
And being truthful, it is a pretty awesome place to be in, most of the times. The place of thinking and thoughts and words and stories. Books and movies and tv shows. It is really where i have always been, or wanted to be, and now when I am there, even if it has been mostly because of things I had no control in, like a pandemic and getting sick in a chronic disease, it is still a place I always longed for. And now my job is to enjoy it to the fullest. To be in it, and to let it be.
I hope you soon start getting some spring in the northern hemisphere, and that the rest of us get to do what we dream of (because all you think about when living in the north during February is when life comes back, I mean spring, and the sun!). /Jenny
Jenny Changala Writes 